ANXITEMENT
This time next year, i will be actively getting ready to launch a church. This is something that i could never do on my own, at least not in the way that my team at Covenant has put it together, dynamic, creative, Christ-centered, relevant, innovative…..unbelievable.
And it was this thought that made my head spin for a second. I feel that i have to be on the top of my game. I feel that from here on out, the best is what is the standard. I am in a place where i am saying…”God, i don’t know how this is gonna go, but i know You have told me that i need to do this, i know that You have called me, given me vision and a team, so i’m gonna go.” And although within that statement you may see faith, i see anxitement( ang-zie-t-ment). Anxitement is that perfect mix of not being able to sleep for fear that something is going to go wrong, and not being able to sleep because you are so excited at what you believe God is going to do. Its when your stomach is turning out of worry, and churning out of excitement. Its realizing that in order for, “that something” to work, God is going to have to be a part of it in a huge way. In fact, you are going to have to step out on faith and live there.
So that is where i am right now, feeling the most anxitement i have ever felt in my life. No guaruntee, no promise of anything. Just the knowledge that God will be faithful to me if i am faithful to what He has called me to.
The only problem with this is the fact that God is always calling us to completely depend on Him. That He should be our source of strength, that He should be our comfort, that He should be enough for all of our needs. I have been a Christ follower for 22 1/2 years of my life, and i believe this to be the first time that i am fully relying on Christ for all of my needs. Scary thought…kinda makes me anxited.
